“Post-Modern Man,” by Professor Rex f. Beuter Perkins
Heads I win, tails you lose 
Only gonna watch Fox News 
I don't believe the liberal media 
I don't trust biased academia 
I wanna drill baby drill 
Though it won't lower prices 
Voter fraud, welfare queens 
Another manufactured crisis 
Keep government outta my Medicare 
Always room for another Red Scare 
Impeach Bill Clinton for a blow job 
Peace Prize to Bush for starting war 
Gotta cut government size and waste 
Guns and bombs? More more more 
It's always right if my side does it 
I'll flip flop daily to stand by that  
He he's a post modern man 
A Bill O'Reilly fan 
Don't believe in truth 
Don't believe the proof 
Has his own set of facts 
Always grinds on that axe 
His philosophy is beer 
His currency is fear  
I'm religious and I'm right 
I'm old and I'm white 
I wish I was rich 
My wife is a bitch 
At least she knows her place 
My friends are all one race 
Black people scare me 
I don't like Mexicans near me 
Asians sure are bright 
I love my Coors light 
I shop at Wal-Mart 
Love jokes about farts 
Bomb 'em back to the Stone Age 
I can't contain by misplaced rage 
Nobody stands up for white rights 
Look at me wrong, we're gonna fight  
He he's a post modern man 
A Bill O'Reilly fan 
Don't believe in truth 
Don't believe the proof 
Has his own set of facts 
Always grinds on that axe 
His philosophy is beer 
His currency is fear  
I love steers and beers 
I hate fucking queers 
I only eat potatoes and meat 
I think NASCAR is really neat 
I think Jesus was an American 
The Founding Fathers were Republicans 
The Constitution outlaws all Dems 
We should imprison all the libs 
I vote against my economic interest 
In Ronald Reagan we trust 
It's my country, love it or leave it 
I hate any handout, unless I receive it 
Since JFK won, this country has stunk 
You socialist, Nazi, pinko punk 
Don't you talk about my president that way 
Your president is a commie Muslim gay  
He he's a post modern man 
A Bill O'Reilly fan 
Don't believe in truth 
Don't believe the proof 
Has his own set of facts 
Always grinds on that axe 
His philosophy is beer 
His currency is fear   
