The president woke and he called the Pope
The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope
He asked the Lord to raise Michaelangelo from the dead
So he can make a fresh painting of my head
Then I hung out with a king and a queen
The queen put me down with her b ball team
I scored many points all around the clock
Her sister, the princess, was gettin rocks off
We stayed up all night, talking real hard
Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards
The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades
Was amazed at the amazing Tom A Kaze on the fade
Then I played cards with the queen of clubs
The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love
As for the queen of diamonds, she don't like men
Because you know that a diamond is a girl's best friend
The double trouble spade was named the deuce
The joker acted stupid, so we cut his ass loose
There was 52 cards, I met every one
That story is over, my rhyme ain't done

Then we took a trip to the center of the earth
I was kinda scared, so Samara went first
We met these funny people, we called em skeezos
I held onto my wallet like Jeff Beezos
To try to get your money, they'll make you grunt
Every nice thing, is what they want
The center of the earth ain't got no crime
Just skeezos body rockin to Professor Rex rhymes
If you're confused to what a skeezo is
It's just a freak who's on our jocks cause we’re in showbiz
There was a whole lotta skeezos, we dodged every one
That story is over, my rhyme ain't done

Woke up late one afternoon
Realized I was in the world of cartoons
He Man told me he'd beat me up
Because he thought that I looked like Donald Duck
Then I hung out with Spider man
He told me he was gonna start a comic strip band
The Incredible Hulk was gonna play the drums
Charlie Brown grabbed the guitar and started to strum
Snoopy tried to rock on the microphone
But Tom and Jerry both said he should leave it alone
Then I hung out with Mickey Mouse
He had two jays, so we went to his house
Mickey's jay was ditch, but mine was def
We knocked em both off til there wasn't none left
They were cartoon characters, I met every one
That story is over, my rhyme ain't done

Since I'm a good friend of father time
I'm not gettin older as I say this rhyme
I was warmin the stove at the Alamo
Before Lincoln and Douglas I stole the show
I was there with George at the Delaware
But I wore a Kangol, not the fake white hair
Me and Samara met Sitting Bull
We brought a weed pipe, then he took a pull
Then he brought more leaves from a golden chest
You thought it was tobacco, the shit was cess
There were a lotta great people, and we met every one
That story is over, my rhyme ain't done

11:33, I swear it's no sooner
I went inside my TV, I met The Honeymooners
Ralph wanted me to bust a couple of rhymes
But I had my eyes on Alice's pie
Norton came down right about that time
Lookin in the fridge, so we could swine and dine
Then I said to myself, I should give em a taste
So I pulled the microphone out my laptop case
Said, it ain't Bob Hope or Barry Manilow
I borrowed Norton’s hat, cause I forgot my Kangol
Ralph said, I got a scheme, let me get to it
Norton, my pal, I said, Yo, don't even do it
They were all Honeymooners, and I met every one
That story is over, my rhyme ain't dumb

My tongue cuts sharp, I hit a note like a harp
Or a harmonica, Veronica, I do my part
In a bedroom with leg room I'm strong like a monsoon
Chilled in Maui Waui and I carry a harpoon
Stopped at Mali, cause we got ill
Wrote my name in the sky at the top of the hill
Searched for other ways, made love in caves
I kicked ill beats that make the ladies raise
Now I'm gonna tell you what all this means
From down in Tally on up to DC
There's a lyrical technician who came to flex
Number one b boy Professor Rex
This is just a story L L made up
Def lines I say on time with Splice bought cuts
All of it's fiction, none of it's fact
Not another common rap with a heavy drum track
A whole lotta rhymes, and I wrote maybe one
That story is over, my rhyme IS DONE

(Original by LL Cool J)